Timepass- The Purpose of Existence
Scroll, swipe, sip, survive
Is purpose of life just to pass time by feeling important and needed in society? Not long ago, humans sailed across the oceans in boats to explore the unknown. Today, you won’t swipe right to someone living in Electronic City if you are in Koramangala. The rise in technology direct correlates with the increase in laziness of our species. Yet, our time on planet has remained the same and so has the need to pass it. From hitting libraries to clicking selfies and posting on Instagram, we want to have the dopamine of feeling relevant. The young ones play to pass time, the mid ones marry, and the elder ones join Shakha.
Tech and efficiency and blah blah
The more AI seeps into our everyday life, the lazier we get and find it difficult to pass time. For context- searching for a data point took a whole day in the 80s, a few hours in the 90s, a few minutes in the 2000s, and a few seconds now. What do we do with the rest of the time? We play pickleball, drink matcha, and write articles about time pass. Anything trending on Instagram is just to help you pass time on planet and feel relevant. You did not have to buy that expensive home coffee brewer expresso whatever-the-fuck-you-call-it machine. But you did. You did not have to force everyone for 23 takes to get a “kaali Activa” cringe reel. But you did. You did not have to go through 1500 photos you took last month to be able to choose 6 and post it on your story for- “Showoff July before it ends”. But you did. All of this helped you pass time, get likes, and dopamine hits to feel relevant in society.
In fact, we should thank all the modern day startups which are helping us to pass time by hiring Product Managers who’s KPI include “daily active engagement”. They have truly changed our days and kept us engaged enough to not see the world burning around us.
Just to give an example, here is a typical 5 step modern date.
After spending 3 hours into the blackhole of Instagram reels and realising you are feeling sad, lonely, and horny, ping them to meet at their place and have an order-in.
Spend the next 30 min checking Ola, Uber, and Rapido for the cheapest prices and then book all three. Make them race towards you. Start with cancelling the most expensive one. Then whichever is about to reach, cancel the other one. If it’s Ola, you will now go to the help section to beg not to be charged cancelation charges as you will put the blame on the driver for not picking calls. Congratulations, you just hosted your own mobility Hunger Games.
Go back to your Instagram as this will be a long drive wherein your hair will turn grey in traffic and the driver most probably is bitching about you on call in his mother tongue because he also has to pass time.
Now you and your partner answer the most important question of human existence since forever- what should we eat? Open your phones and spend an hour on Zomato and Swiggy doomscrolling through discounts and dishes, to finally arrive at Rajma Chawal which you ordered yesterday as well.
Finally, you have to decide on what to watch during the meal so please spend next 30 min before the food comes to scroll through Netflix, Prime, Hotstar, SonyLiv, AppleTv, and YouTube to come to a conclusion which is- “Let’s watch the re-run of a Friends Episode”. Again.
Congratulations, you have done enough timepass for the day.
Marriage- the premium timepass subscription service
After a certain age (sounding like all the aunties), marriage serves this purpose the best. For those bored of dating apps, marriage is a long term subscription of entertainment. I have never seen a 35 year old married human bored. Their lives are exciting with crying pint-size persons (babies), cribbing parents, and complaining partners. Before you can get time to be bored, you get loaded with the responsibilities of EMIs, diapers, and “get curd on the way”. There are a thousand ways to pass time. Kirtan kitty, play date, laadu Gopal (iykyk), pottery, marathon, bhangra class, pilates, concerts, film festivals, sip and paint - the list is never ending.
Each of these can have their own write-ups and it might become a book but I don’t have the patience to pass so much time without using Instagram. (Someday)Retirement- the boss level religious timepass
The older you get, the stronger the tasks you need to pass time. Hence, aged uncles join RSS to save their religion. Uncle couldn’t save himself the temptation to eat chhole bhature last night but uncle had Eno in the morning to reach Shakha in half pants at 6am and save his religion.Uncle once saved a woman’s life by not marrying her. Savior complex is a real thing. In England, they say “God Save the Queen”. In India, we wait for retired upper caste rich patriarchs to save the gods. But it makes sense, in England they have one God and one king. In India, we have 33 Crore Gods and 120 crore Hindu people, that’s 1 God on average for every 4 Hindus. Atleast until census is conducted, we have to consider everyone. So, technically, by that logic, you have 1 god for each family of 4. Probably the reason most of them have 4 hands. Multitasking. So, it makes sense that the male head figure of the family, works hard day and night to save the religion because gods have their hands full.
What was the point of this article? LOL
Now, this useless article helped you pass time while feeding you to feel woke intellectual and made you question the world instead of yourself. That’s okay. The world is pseudo and only people happy are the ones who have the privilege of hobbies. The truth is, the rich have to pass their time, the poor ones have to time their pass.
Next time someone asks you about the purpose of your life- look boldly in their eyes and say- time pass.
